Murphy's Law

I knew it would be tough, but for some reason I thought it would be easier than before. I started out with great determination and effort on Weds. Utilized the day to the maximum, watched Pathoma, and took notes. It was just the basics, but I was retaining the info. Planned to start up early the next day. Woke up to all sorts of stuff going on in the house, if something could shake my resolve, then thats what I dealt with yesterday. Family disagreements, not able to get to the library, stuff that needed to get done at home, etc... The things that have historically kept me in a locked position, distracting the most important thing a student needs to study... their mind. Ah to have a stronger mind, to not get shaken by emotional upsets... I would be so far today. I guess its like a muscle, needs to get exercise to become strong. Alas, it doesn't take much to put me off track. The day was not salvageable, though I attempted to get out of the situations so that I could concentrate, I never made it out. Today I had appointments in the morning, had planned to study after yet of course the plans I had were interrupted and what I expected to take a certain portion of my time instead took way too much of my time. That being said I didn't have the stress of yesterday, but the one day of getting off track had taken away my steam, and I started to lose hope for ever being serious about my studies. A time of indecision. Maybe I should be looking for work instead. These exams are going to take all my time, and it will be hard to not look at practical needs that could be filled with working. I'm confused right this second which would be wiser to do. I only just decided to study. It didn't take away financial necessities. Standing on two different boats is not a good idea. Doubting my choices is even worse. Bad habits are hard to break. Even harder when the temptation to revert back is so strong. I knew it wouldn't be easy. I knew there would be days like this. I was hoping they would come after I got a bit more done, so I could hold on to the knowledge I had accomplished something. Okay, I'm getting it out of my system. I just need to stay focused on my goal. Stay strong. Weekends are busy with church, and family. Next week will be challenging as I have all day appointments and things that I have to take care of in the beginning of the week... Don't know when I will be able to study... Weds? Thurs? At least the rest of today is open. All is not lost. Okay where are my books. Ch. 2 of Pathoma here I come.